Eliminating Noun Winter

Please understand, this proposal is a joke. I apologize in advance for wasting your time.

noun (1)

As we all know, WINTER IS COMING. This is quite upsetting and inconvenient for me personally, so I am proposing that we eliminate it in a single night.

I live on Eastern Standard Time, which is, of course, the most important time zone. It would be a great injustice if this time zone were forced to endure several months of having Noun o’clock in the middle of the night. It is, quite frankly, ridiculous. To correct this impending crime against those of us that live here, I am proposing the following:

When Noun O’clock reaches midnight EST, two whales will enter into a bidding war for the newest Noun. Through the night, we need approximately 135 bids (15 per hour) to push the following auction to 9AM the next morning. This will most certainly break the record for the highest bid of all time for a Noun. (Added bonus)

Once the auction is complete, Nouns DAO will reimburse the highest bidder down to a more reasonable amount; The average of the 3 highest winning bids over the last 10 auctions. I’m sure you will all agree this is the most reasonable solution.

I expect a Nouner to put this proposal on chain ASAP to avoid this ever nearing calamity.

Thank you for wasting your time reading this proposal. Your likes and comments would be appreciated.

Aussies, please keep it respectful.

1 Like

To evaluate the feasibility of this proposal lets start with the NounsAuctionHouse Contract

Each bid must be 2% higher than the last one.

minBidIncrementPercentage = 2

If the Auction is in the final 5 minutes, a bid will extend the auction to 5 minutes from the bid.

timeBuffer = 300

Lets say a Noun has reached 80 ETH, and the auction is almost over. ETH transactions can easily take up to a minute, so bidding every 4 minutes is wise to keep the auction going.

To move the auction 9 hours forward, we would need 135 bids.

Final Bid Price = 80 ETH * (1.02)^135 = 1159.08 ETH

This is certainly a reasonable cost, but I question whether it is fair to the other side of the globe. Also, perhaps it is a slippery slope. What if, frustrated with their own Noun winter, the other side continues bidding to change the timezone further. This could seriously halt Noun production.

A safe estimate for a max bid is roughly ~121,355,710 ETH, or, the entire circulating supply of ETH. The 719th bid would be larger than this, so 718 would be the max auction extensions possible.

718 bids * 4 minutes / bid = 2,872 minutes = 48 hours

Within 48 hours the Nouns DAO treasury would contain every ETH in existence. As desirable as this sizeable ETH stack may seem, having only one holder would be disastrous for the token.

It is in my opinion that we should be very careful about encouraging this activity as a DAO, given the extreme consequences. For the safety of the Ethereum ecosystem I would vote NO on this proposal.


Thank you for your incredibly detailed and well thought out response. However, as an EST maxi, I must point out that you seem to be promoting the idea that the needs of the many somehow outweigh the needs of the few (me). This seems incredibly unfair personally, so I object to your findings.

Good day, ser!

But we should do it anyways, just for the story, the lore.


Thank you! For the lore!